My mind went completely blank. Where am I?—No, no—let’s start with a better question: What have become of myself?
Nothing. Nothing comes to my mind.
Well, let’s start from who I was. Go back to the past. It all started on July 7, 1937. Prior to the date, I was a mere middle school student, with an admirable parent and a brother. That was, until my parents passed away due to illness. After my parents' death, I was left all alone with my brother, Kim Sun Ha. People pitied us, sympathized with us, but never helped us. Eventually, we had to go on the streets, begging for food. It was then that I discovered a flyer about Marco Polo Bridge Incident. I don’t remember the details, but it said that the international tension between China and Korea finally brought to a warfare on the morning of July 8, with Japanese first open-firing around 5 AM. I don’t know. I didn’t pay much attention to it.
Only, I had no idea that the very event I had read about would change my life, forever.
At first, life was bearable with my brother, albeit without my parents. But just as when I thought everything was going back to where they used to be, my brother was forced to become a laborer in Japan. It all happened too quickly. It was June 20th. My brother and I were at home cooking dinner, when suddenly, some strange men emerged through our door and took my brother after completely destroying our house. Only after a while did I realize that my brother, along with other boys and men in the neighborhood, was forcefully taken as a laborer in the Japanese army—Imperial Japanese Army, I was told. I despised them. I shivered with disgust at the thought of them: they had taken everything from me, my family!
I was foolish of me to oversee the fact that they were yet to take everything...yet.
Only one month passed before they came back. This time, for me. I was on the way to collect water from a lake nearby. Completely unaware. Oh yes, I remember what happened to me now! As I walked around the corner in the ally near my house, the world suddenly went dark. I couldn’t see anything. I tried to shout for help, but without much success. My body failed to move as I wished it to. Unaware of anything that was happening to me, that’s how I arrived here. I first found myself surrounded by many other women. Although most of them were crying, one next to me was strangely calm. She told me she knew what was happening and what will happen to us: Japan, warfare, comfort women. The term ‘comfort women’ is still quiet unfamiliar to me, but I don’t think I care. Right now, all I can think of, is family. I’m still struggling to find out what had happened to my family, why, and most importantly, who. I shall be writing more as I find out.
2nd Entry: October 25, 1939
So I did find out few things more about what is happening right now. ‘Comfort women’, a word that sounds so warm and welcoming—a word that now describes my identity—is nothing but a seemingly beautiful word for ‘sex slaves’. SEX SLAVES?! I was not taught by my parents to live with such shame! Oh, only if shame was the only thing I have to bear. Every day, I “give comfort” to the soldiers.
And if you haven’t realized how I “gave comfort” to the soldiers by this time, I mean lying down and passively letting the hungry and gory soldiers take control of my body. There is no rest. Minute after minute, soldiers with faces I have never seen come in, take all the pleasure they need to with my body while my soul is being ripped into pieces, and leave me like a piece of trash. If there is anything that is giving me comfort and the strength to withstand, it shall be the internal support of the group of comfort women, who were all unwillingly and violently kidnapped or dragged to the army. But as days like these continue on, I am loosing my will to continue living.
But today, I met a different man, Shinichi Oska. At the first sight, he was just like any other soldier, seeking physical pleasure and break from the war through my body. Yet, he was different from the others: deeming the adoption of the concept ‘comfort women’ unethical, he came to visit me time to time to inform me of the news regarding war—where Chinese are, how close they are to loosing. He knew I had to know, that I had to know to find my brother.
Through him, I discovered the beginning of the concept of ‘comfort women’. Although Japan first gathered prostitutes through conventional ways, through advertisements on newspaper from Korea, Taiwan, and China. However, when the resources ran out due to prolongation of war, Japanese army turned to “Three Alls Policy”, which allowed indiscriminate kidnapping and raping of civilians.
He also said something about the Japanese invasion of French Indochina. He said Japan was trying to block the source of ammunition and fuel to China, giving their opponent a significant disadvantage. Because France ignored Japan’s command to close the rail way to Yunnan, an Indochina, which was currently controlled by Vichy France. Will the Japanese imperialism ever be brought to a stop? As of now, I have no idea. But I shall be writing more as I gain some more knowledge.
3rd Entry: September 8, 1940
Did I expect my life to get better? Boy, was I being foolish: if any, my life went from bad to worst.
I am pregnant.
Well...okay, I was. There are too many stories to tell. Where to start...
Let’s start from my unexpected meeting with Saeng Myeong Kim. My life had been the same, being taken advantage of by disgusting Japanese soldiers, the very people who were torturing my people in Korea. As a result of frequent interactions with the Japanese soldiers, I did learn some Japanese, although at the expense of forgetting some Korean. As days passed by, I came to get along with other comfort women here, as we became dependent on each other, in an attempt to resolve our fear and anger: we all barely got to eat or drink.
A Korean medic, he had been serving the Japanese army for quiet a number of years. Nevertheless, he was still nice to treat me differently then how other people in the army treated me and the other comfort women. He often came to check up on our health, especially to take care of those who contracted sexually transmitted diseases from the sexual interaction with the Japanese people. I would then hear about the war from him. When he informed me of the Japanese success in invading French Indochina, my head went blank. He told me he felt sorry too. Of course he did! He was a Korean himself as well! The only hope I had that kept me alive for more than the past 10 years was disappearing in smoke. Japan was madly expanding beyond its limit set by the ocean! Many of the other Korean comfort women became awfully concerned about their family members in Korea. But I only had one concern: my brother. He must be fighting out there somewhere as a part of the Japanese army. He could as well be killing the family members of the fellow comfort women right now!
But there’s a bigger surprise as I have already told you—pregnancy. Today, Saeng Myeong came to visit me as always. It started as a regular check-up. Only, he then seemed very frightened: his face turned a little white, and started to stutter. She diagnosed me as being pregnant. For a few minutes, there was a deafening silence. That silence was only broken by Seung Myeong’s determined statement: to keep this a secret between him and me. But soon, the Japanese medics found out, and the rumor spread to the soldiers. The soldiers began to beat me in the stomach to eliminate the baby in my body. Once, Saeng Myeong found me while I was being beaten by three Japanese soldiers. However, he walked away after taking a glance at me. I understand him. He had to...I guess.
4th Entry: September 24, 1945
Did you hear about the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombing!? I was so shocked that Japan was attacked by the United States! On August 6, there was bombing on Hiroshima followed by another plutonium bomb dropped over Nagasaki three days later! I could not believe the news, even after hearing it with my own ears. People, especially some of the very few survivors of the bombings, were all over the bombings on the radio. I have been informed about the “island-hopping” technique adopted by the United States army since long ago and have been predicting that Japan’s not doing so well according to the increased level of stress and anger among the Japanese soldiers who visited us Comfort women more often accordingly, but I was certainly not expecting the American troops to be doing so well! I was truly excited that Korea might, at last, become free again, but my mind was not as clear: it was confusing to me. First of all, I was worried about how long it will take before Korea can regain strength and order. Then, I was confused if I should be excited, because albeit justifiable, the bombings did kill thousands. Finally, I have come to decide that I am not all happy about the news. What about people who were actually guilty of Japan’s faults? What about people like Shinichi Oska?
I bring this up because I recently met the mother of Shinichi Oska, Ishida Sumi, and had a long discussion about the war and decline of Japan. She had come to visit me, after hearing about me from her son. Just like her son, she was against the cruelties of war. I presumed it was because her son was in the war, suffering, albeit the decision was voluntary. She told me she was sorry for me, that she also did not feel that the concept of ‘comfort women’ was not justifiable at all. Together, we reflected upon the fall of Japan’s imperialism as well. Although she was one of them, I told her everything I thought about the decline. It is true that Japan had been doing intolerable deeds to other people without truly justifiable reason. And it is true that I hate war for it. Hey, I lost my brother. But I do not think that using violence to put a stop to violence is not right. But I would have to continue my life as a sex slave, had the United States not resolved to use the atomic bombs. But then again, thousands of innocent lives were sacrificed to stop the Japanese army. But yet, they killed thousands of other innocent people as well! OH I DON’T KNOW!! I am too confused right now.
But one thing is clear to me. The war may be over, but too many people had to lose too many for nothing...regardless of one’s nationality, one’s gender, one’s age...
Table of Contents
Kim Yoon Shim
Name: Kim Yoon Shim
Age: 13 (Born on January 2, 1925)
Gender: Female
Occupation:
- Middle School Student
- Comfort Woman since being kidnapped on August 12, 1938
Appearance: Clean, tied her hair back, thick eyebrows with big eyes, wearing hanbokLocation:
- Born and raised in Korea
- Kidnapped to Tokyo, Japan on August 12, 1938
Personality/Quirks/Unique Personality Traits: very organized, respectful of elders, determined girlFamily:
- Father -- Kim Sung Hea (dies due to illness - July 7, 1937)
- Mother -- Park Sun Ja (dies due to illness - July 7, 1937)
- Brother -- Kim Sun Ha (forced to become laborer on June 20, 1938 / forcefully enlisted to Japanese army on October 8, 1938)
Education: Kidnapped while in Middle SchoolLanguages you speak: Korean, Japanese (later)
Your main concerns at this time and in life:
Journal Entries
1st Entry: August 13, 1928
My mind went completely blank. Where am I?—No, no—let’s start with a better question: What have become of myself?
Nothing. Nothing comes to my mind.
Well, let’s start from who I was. Go back to the past. It all started on July 7, 1937. Prior to the date, I was a mere middle school student, with an admirable parent and a brother. That was, until my parents passed away due to illness. After my parents' death, I was left all alone with my brother, Kim Sun Ha. People pitied us, sympathized with us, but never helped us. Eventually, we had to go on the streets, begging for food. It was then that I discovered a flyer about Marco Polo Bridge Incident. I don’t remember the details, but it said that the international tension between China and Korea finally brought to a warfare on the morning of July 8, with Japanese first open-firing around 5 AM. I don’t know. I didn’t pay much attention to it.
Only, I had no idea that the very event I had read about would change my life, forever.
At first, life was bearable with my brother, albeit without my parents. But just as when I thought everything was going back to where they used to be, my brother was forced to become a laborer in Japan. It all happened too quickly. It was June 20th. My brother and I were at home cooking dinner, when suddenly, some strange men emerged through our door and took my brother after completely destroying our house. Only after a while did I realize that my brother, along with other boys and men in the neighborhood, was forcefully taken as a laborer in the Japanese army—Imperial Japanese Army, I was told. I despised them. I shivered with disgust at the thought of them: they had taken everything from me, my family!
I was foolish of me to oversee the fact that they were yet to take everything...yet.
Only one month passed before they came back. This time, for me. I was on the way to collect water from a lake nearby. Completely unaware. Oh yes, I remember what happened to me now! As I walked around the corner in the ally near my house, the world suddenly went dark. I couldn’t see anything. I tried to shout for help, but without much success. My body failed to move as I wished it to. Unaware of anything that was happening to me, that’s how I arrived here. I first found myself surrounded by many other women. Although most of them were crying, one next to me was strangely calm. She told me she knew what was happening and what will happen to us: Japan, warfare, comfort women. The term ‘comfort women’ is still quiet unfamiliar to me, but I don’t think I care. Right now, all I can think of, is family. I’m still struggling to find out what had happened to my family, why, and most importantly, who. I shall be writing more as I find out.
2nd Entry: October 25, 1939
So I did find out few things more about what is happening right now. ‘Comfort women’, a word that sounds so warm and welcoming—a word that now describes my identity—is nothing but a seemingly beautiful word for ‘sex slaves’. SEX SLAVES?! I was not taught by my parents to live with such shame! Oh, only if shame was the only thing I have to bear. Every day, I “give comfort” to the soldiers.
And if you haven’t realized how I “gave comfort” to the soldiers by this time, I mean lying down and passively letting the hungry and gory soldiers take control of my body. There is no rest. Minute after minute, soldiers with faces I have never seen come in, take all the pleasure they need to with my body while my soul is being ripped into pieces, and leave me like a piece of trash. If there is anything that is giving me comfort and the strength to withstand, it shall be the internal support of the group of comfort women, who were all unwillingly and violently kidnapped or dragged to the army. But as days like these continue on, I am loosing my will to continue living.
But today, I met a different man, Shinichi Oska. At the first sight, he was just like any other soldier, seeking physical pleasure and break from the war through my body. Yet, he was different from the others: deeming the adoption of the concept ‘comfort women’ unethical, he came to visit me time to time to inform me of the news regarding war—where Chinese are, how close they are to loosing. He knew I had to know, that I had to know to find my brother.
Through him, I discovered the beginning of the concept of ‘comfort women’. Although Japan first gathered prostitutes through conventional ways, through advertisements on newspaper from Korea, Taiwan, and China. However, when the resources ran out due to prolongation of war, Japanese army turned to “Three Alls Policy”, which allowed indiscriminate kidnapping and raping of civilians.
He also said something about the Japanese invasion of French Indochina. He said Japan was trying to block the source of ammunition and fuel to China, giving their opponent a significant disadvantage. Because France ignored Japan’s command to close the rail way to Yunnan, an Indochina, which was currently controlled by Vichy France. Will the Japanese imperialism ever be brought to a stop? As of now, I have no idea. But I shall be writing more as I gain some more knowledge.
3rd Entry: September 8, 1940
Did I expect my life to get better? Boy, was I being foolish: if any, my life went from bad to worst.
I am pregnant.
Well...okay, I was. There are too many stories to tell. Where to start...
Let’s start from my unexpected meeting with Saeng Myeong Kim. My life had been the same, being taken advantage of by disgusting Japanese soldiers, the very people who were torturing my people in Korea. As a result of frequent interactions with the Japanese soldiers, I did learn some Japanese, although at the expense of forgetting some Korean. As days passed by, I came to get along with other comfort women here, as we became dependent on each other, in an attempt to resolve our fear and anger: we all barely got to eat or drink.
A Korean medic, he had been serving the Japanese army for quiet a number of years. Nevertheless, he was still nice to treat me differently then how other people in the army treated me and the other comfort women. He often came to check up on our health, especially to take care of those who contracted sexually transmitted diseases from the sexual interaction with the Japanese people. I would then hear about the war from him. When he informed me of the Japanese success in invading French Indochina, my head went blank. He told me he felt sorry too. Of course he did! He was a Korean himself as well! The only hope I had that kept me alive for more than the past 10 years was disappearing in smoke. Japan was madly expanding beyond its limit set by the ocean! Many of the other Korean comfort women became awfully concerned about their family members in Korea. But I only had one concern: my brother. He must be fighting out there somewhere as a part of the Japanese army. He could as well be killing the family members of the fellow comfort women right now!
But there’s a bigger surprise as I have already told you—pregnancy. Today, Saeng Myeong came to visit me as always. It started as a regular check-up. Only, he then seemed very frightened: his face turned a little white, and started to stutter. She diagnosed me as being pregnant. For a few minutes, there was a deafening silence. That silence was only broken by Seung Myeong’s determined statement: to keep this a secret between him and me. But soon, the Japanese medics found out, and the rumor spread to the soldiers. The soldiers began to beat me in the stomach to eliminate the baby in my body. Once, Saeng Myeong found me while I was being beaten by three Japanese soldiers. However, he walked away after taking a glance at me. I understand him. He had to...I guess.
4th Entry: September 24, 1945
Did you hear about the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombing!? I was so shocked that Japan was attacked by the United States! On August 6, there was bombing on Hiroshima followed by another plutonium bomb dropped over Nagasaki three days later! I could not believe the news, even after hearing it with my own ears. People, especially some of the very few survivors of the bombings, were all over the bombings on the radio. I have been informed about the “island-hopping” technique adopted by the United States army since long ago and have been predicting that Japan’s not doing so well according to the increased level of stress and anger among the Japanese soldiers who visited us Comfort women more often accordingly, but I was certainly not expecting the American troops to be doing so well! I was truly excited that Korea might, at last, become free again, but my mind was not as clear: it was confusing to me. First of all, I was worried about how long it will take before Korea can regain strength and order. Then, I was confused if I should be excited, because albeit justifiable, the bombings did kill thousands. Finally, I have come to decide that I am not all happy about the news. What about people who were actually guilty of Japan’s faults? What about people like Shinichi Oska?
I bring this up because I recently met the mother of Shinichi Oska, Ishida Sumi, and had a long discussion about the war and decline of Japan. She had come to visit me, after hearing about me from her son. Just like her son, she was against the cruelties of war. I presumed it was because her son was in the war, suffering, albeit the decision was voluntary. She told me she was sorry for me, that she also did not feel that the concept of ‘comfort women’ was not justifiable at all. Together, we reflected upon the fall of Japan’s imperialism as well. Although she was one of them, I told her everything I thought about the decline. It is true that Japan had been doing intolerable deeds to other people without truly justifiable reason. And it is true that I hate war for it. Hey, I lost my brother. But I do not think that using violence to put a stop to violence is not right. But I would have to continue my life as a sex slave, had the United States not resolved to use the atomic bombs. But then again, thousands of innocent lives were sacrificed to stop the Japanese army. But yet, they killed thousands of other innocent people as well! OH I DON’T KNOW!! I am too confused right now.
But one thing is clear to me. The war may be over, but too many people had to lose too many for nothing...regardless of one’s nationality, one’s gender, one’s age...